Personal statement essays opening lines

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Your essay can be the difference between an acceptance and rejection — it allows you to stand out from the rest of applicants with similar profiles. Your personal statement is any essay that you must write for your main application, such as the Common App Essay , University of California Essays , or Coalition Application Essay. This type of essay focuses on your unique experiences, ideas, or beliefs that may not be discussed throughout the rest of your application. This essay should be an opportunity for the admissions officers to get to know you better and give them a glimpse into who you really are. These personal statement essay examples were all written by real students. For each example, we provide a first draft, what the writer can improve, and the revised version.
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Examples of Great Introductory Paragraphs

In "The Writing of Essays" , H. Wells offers some lively advice on how to begin an essay :. In contrast to the leads seen in Hookers vs. Chasers: How Not to Begin an Essay , here are some opening lines that, in various ways, "whack" the reader at once and encourage us to read on.
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Medicine Personal Statement

It informs readers about the topic and why they should care about it but also adds enough intrigue to get them to continue to read. In short, the opening paragraph is your chance to make a great first impression. The primary purpose of an introductory paragraph is to pique the interest of your reader and identify the topic and purpose of the essay. It often ends with a thesis statement. Posing a question, defining the key term, giving a brief anecdote , using a playful joke or emotional appeal, or pulling out an interesting fact are just a few approaches you can take.
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My family consists of my mom, dad, brother, and sister. My sister is a senior at ESU and works at Genesis Health Club, teaching different classes and being a personal trainer. Both my siblings have moved out so it is a little lonely at the house. I have never been close with my siblings.
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